Today was one of those days where kids just say the most funny things, and it's all you can do not to piss your pants on your ultra padded teacher-chair…
After lunch today we had a story, we've nearly finished Enid Blyton's 'The Enchanted Wood', and we decide to leave the last little bit of the story for later. During this short break the second biggest kid in the class (we'll call him Joe) asks to go to the toilet, so I promise him a surprise when he gets back and he toddles off, a happy little chap.
While he's gone I tell the class about what we're going to do next, which is to get Joe to lay on a big piece of butcher's paper so we can trace around him, and hang the cutout on the wall, so we can later stick bones and organs and stuff on the cutout. Everyone is excited and more than a little bit jealous that Joe is the chosen one, but they figure out that we need him to do it because the biggest kid is away today, so he's the next best thing.
Joe comes skipping happily back into the classroom and is met by 20 excited and happy kids, and I tell him what his surprise is.
"Ok Joe, we want you to lie on the paper, then we're going to trace around you, cut you out and stick you on the wall, how does that sound?"
Joe's excited and laughing face instantly melts away, and is replaced by one of horror and fear. He stands stock still and shakes his head in small erratic movements, and his eyes dart from one classmate to the other.
"What's wrong Joe, don't you want us to trace around you? You only have to lie on the paper."
Joe shakes his head, still refusing to move.
"Well, that's ok then, we can choose someone else." Instantly twenty hands shoot up into the air and the room starts to look like an upside-down lollipop farm.
"Hmm, let's see, who can help us here…"
Joe comes to talk to me. Quietly he asks exactly what i'm going to do to him. I explain to him about lying on the paper, then tracing around him and then cutting out the piece of paper and hanging it on the wall.
"Oh, so you're not going to cut me…" he whispers.
"And you're not going to pin me up on the wall…"
"No," I confirm.
His face brightens. "So, do you want us to trace around you?" I smile.
"Yeah! Can we do it right now?
Rule #1: Be careful how you word things around six year olds.